ANNOUNCING, TODAY, AN INTERNET!

thisiswhatiswrongwithme:

soylentjames:

(via lgbtlaughs)

how did that woman get my pajamas

And if anyone tries to make that a euphemism, YOUR fingers will hurt, and not in the way of the euphemism you are not making.

BOGGy

All the barely-anything-to-do work days from the beginning of the week totally came back and bit me in the ass today. Super busy day. BUT IT’S OVER!

Also: it is cold in this Panera.

Also: there is a hot lady cadet from the nearby Coast Guard Academy sitting a few tables away. IN UNIFORM. Brb pretending I have more work to do so I can sit here and ogle for another moment or two.

reply-all email exchange reviews: true blood edition

Friend 1:: i don't love true blood. well i've never watched it. i'm against vampires. the woman i am training at 4:30 is OBSESSED with twilight and always wears a twilight t shirt while she works out.
Me:: true blood > twilight, forever. i have never watched or read twilight and probably never will. but i love true blood. it's worth it. and it isn't stupid like twilight. plus the characters in it are actually hot. and they actually have sex sometimes! and there are gay people. and there are way more than just vampires and werewolves. it is the best.
Friend 2:: i'm watching episode three. it's kinda stupid. but i love sex. and gay people. and anna paquin's gaptooth.
Me:: i too love all of those things.

13 hours ago Short URL 8 notes

That’s right. I starred it. I retweeted it. And now I’m putting a screen shot of it on Tumblr. I THINK THIS TOOT IS THAT HILARIOUS.

ANNIE'S MOM AND I ARE BEST FRIENDS NOW

Annie:: My mom would love you unless you specifically told her you were gay. See, since she doesn't "believe" in gayness, she never guesses people are gay. She still thinks my aunt really has a "roommate." For twenty years. And she keeps trying to set her up on dates.
Me:: That's kind of adorable. I kind of love that.
Me:: I'm really really really bad at not being gay though. I'm sure I'd blurt it out in like fifteen seconds.
Annie:: One time, I told her, "Mom, aunt Jeanne is a lesbian." And she -- I swear -- said, "Annie. Don't be mean. She just likes comfortable shoes."
Me:: NOW I AM LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF A STARBUCKS, THANKS
Annie:: HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THAT YOU ARE NOT GAY, YOU JUST LIKE SENSIBLE FOOTWEAR?
Me:: I DO LOVE A GOOD OXFORD.

17 hours ago Short URL 64 notes

shoesonwrong/sensible shoes/sensible shoes on wrong?/

A fifty-seven foot Chris-Craft that needs somewhat extensive hull repair! I know because I looked in my web history.

ANNOUNCING, TODAY, AN INTERNET!

Fine Folk

My fingers HURT.

WHAT THE I DONT EVEN

IGURED SOMETHING OUT

reply-all email exchange reviews: true blood edition

ANNIE'S MOM AND I ARE BEST FRIENDS NOW

Ooo, they weren’t chartering a boat, they were BUYING one.